I take a lot of stuff for granted. Blue jeans. Gravity, Potatoes. Recently, I've had an opportunity to observe, at close range, those who fix and build things. Building, making things, fixing things is something I have never understood and have therefore ignored. But now, after witnessing this up close, I think that the proper handling of tools, carpentry, and activity related to this is not a science or an art. It is a gift from God. Those who are masters of this craft deserve our admiration and respect.

This kind of endeavor, involving as it does Higher Mathematics and Physics, is not for everyone. This is something I discovered at an early age. A very early age. Imagine what round holes and square pegs can do to a child's sense of self-esteem.

In our garage, my father had a worktable. It was equipped with a wide range of virtually unused tools. Saws, hammers, clamps, planes, drills. In skilled hands, these could be used to build many useful objects and repair those that were broken. In my hands, they became tools of destruction.

After a few trips to my room and after the time the Department visited our house, not only had my fascination run its course, but my energies were being channeled elsewhere. I tried to focus on things like spectator sports which seemed harmless enough or lawn mowing where the worst thing I could do was cut off my foot; not destroy the neighborhood.

But I was never one of those kids with the chemistry set or tool box. The kids who have to know how things go together and why they work. My involvement with the intricacies of technology extended to the television, the refrigerator, and then, later, the lawnmower. If the mower didn't work, so much the better. I was in more of the mystic vein. Appreciative of the magic that exists in everyday life. The Magic of Trees Growing. The Magic of Home Cooking. The Magic of Animal Magnetism. The Magic of Stereo Hi-Fi.

I'm still like that. Whether or not this ignorance is justifiable is something I have yet to figure out. Let me examine this magic to try to understand.

Tools and Their Complexity

It's funny. They look so simple. Many of them have no moving parts. And yet, their correct use baffles the uninitiated. The Hammer, for instance. An instrument to pound nails. Certain types of hammers have a claw to remove the nails that may somehow have been put in incorrectly. Why didn't they just make the head of the hammer bigger? With a bigger head there wouldn't be as many missed and bent nails to extract. I've found, when using the hammer, that it helps to differentiate between your own nails and the ones that are supposed to go into the wood.

A Screwdriver is a tool of singular purpose, i.e., to drive the screws into the wood. The driver part of the name does not mean that you should drive the screw in by hitting it, although it's worth a try. What it really means is that the tool is in control of the screw. The Building Trades, as they are called, have unions. You must be a paid dues member of the union before they give you the secret that enables you to turn the screw more than half a rotation without radically altering your grip and without having the screwdriver head fly off the screw threatening life, limb, and property. There are two basic types of Screwdrivers - The Phillip's Head, named after the son of an early Anerican inventor. And the other one. The flat-headed one.

The third most commonly used tool is the Saw. I thought the other two were dangerous, but I was mistaken. This one has sharp notches on it to tear the wood to pieces. These notches are called Teeth and with good reason.

Any tool, but especially the Saw, should be used with respect if not caution. If you can master the use of just these three tools, the possibilities for construction are limited only by your imagination and the materials at hand.

Measurement

Accurate measurement is the key to not only fewer headaches, but to successful construction. Three tools (yes, more tools) are essential to this process.

1. The Tape Measure - It can be unruly (excuse me) at times - bending, refusing to stay still, and hard to decipher. This is where the Higher Mathematics enter in.

Fractions have always been a source of difficulty for me. To overcome this, I have devised my own system of measurement and I will share its secret with you. Ignore the fractions. Just forget them. Is it an eighth, a sixteenth, or a thirtysecond? It's always hard to tell. And who cares? And then, to add or subtract them to or from each other is something we don't want to get into.

I just count the notches between the inch marks, which I can understand. So, when I make a measurement, I call it 4 inches plus 5. If I have another of 7 inches plus 9,1 know that the total measurement is 11 inches plus 14. It's that simple.

2. The Level - This is another handy tool for measurement. This will keep things from rolling off your new counter-tops and also make sure that your belongings are evenly distributed across the floor and don't end up on one side of the room.

3. The Pencil - One with a fat lead that can't break will help you remember important things like what to get at the lumber yard and where exactly the wall goes.

Two bits of advice about measurement - 1. Measure twice. Cut once. This is poetic, truthful, and to the point. And 2. It's nice to be precise, but remember, adjustments can always be made. That's why they make hammers.

Plans and Blueprints

Plans are perhaps the most magical thing about construction. It always amazes me how two dimensions can become three and how someone can turn a few lines into a home. If that's not magical, what is?

The skilled carpenters do not even use plans. Like Tesla, they set a team to work in their heads. When this model is completed and your family is living in it, they note the measurements and call the lumber yard. Then they build the real thing.

Dirt and Debris

Building things, fixing stuff, and just using tools is a dirty business. But that is part of the fun. In the midst of and, sometimes even long after a project is completed, the debris will be scattered about in heaps. Sawdust, bent nails, scraps of wood are everywhere. Old sheetrock, discarded linoleum, and empty paint cans pile up. New landfills are created. You search for ways to make use of all this garbage and waste but there is a limit. Only one paint can sculpture and one pile of scrap wood for future projects to each house. The rest must go.

On the personal side, at least one set of clothes must be sacrificed for each project. Paint and caulk can change a pair of blue jeans into something resembling dessert. Dirt, paint, and glue can give your nails a strength and luster that may last for years. Magic dust will settle over everything. But this is a small price to pay for transforming a heap of boards and nails into something useful and lasting.

The Understatement of the Professionals

Just a short note about the guys who really know what they are doing. These guys do not sell used cars. They are creators. They don't need to talk about their work all the time. They are masters of understatement and irony. Their deeds speak for themselves. They don't tell you how great your place is after they are finished with it. They simply note that it turned out O.K. If something is not going right or is blatantly wrong they will say "Oops" and go about the business of correcting it.

They have no need for Italian shoes or fancy cars. They possess the humility of great artists. Function over fashion and a dependable pickup are what is necessary to this profession. Useless flash would signal a lack of judgement and stability. Their work is not hidden in some file cabinet. It is in plain view. The evidence of a successful and completed project is all the public recognition they want or need.

Amateurs, like myself, would do well to keep this example before them as they attempt to make or fix something. Long years of apprenticeship, long years of physical and spiritual training have made possible the square corners and true sightlines that are everywhere across this land. But enough praise. They know their work is appreciated.

One Last Word

It is always an adventure to undertake the construction of something. As in many adventures, we often start off with great enthusiasm and sense of purpose but further down the road we seem to lose steam or our sense of humor and find ourselves in need of a guide. Lately, there have been many books published which can be of great benefit in situations like this - Remodeling For Retreads, Hammers Without Nails, If I Were A Carpenter, Skyscrapers Made Easy. But when dealing with magic, who knows what can happen. To avoid problems, I go straight to the source. I've found that the most helpful book available is the Yellow Pages. Inside, a complete listing can be found of those better qualified and much safer than myself. As the old saying goes - when in doubt, seek professional help.